to anyone who got this web..

my blog has been shifted to http://josukekobuta.blogspot.com/

My Confession Part 3-One Minute Late Can Make A Difference

10/06/06..

...............

My Confession Part 2-If I Let You Go..

Confessions

-A Bright New Day after aday of having bad times over something..so i started my day with a big sigh and go on..as usual..we..ts clanners will go for an outing in time square..after a day of being that numb to myself..i just put a happy mask on my face to face my friends..because scared they will say i toh toh yeh or something..and so..i was playing daytona..suddently while playing..u poped out in my mind...i recall back what happen yesterday..=/..my mood turned to very very low..she knows how i feel about her..and there might be some chance in the future..but just 1 missunderstood..already ruin everything..she actually though that i wanted to fool her heart..i dare to swear that i wont..and never will..how could i bare to cheat a person like her???..but she said..do theifs say that they steal when dey realli steal??...i have nothing to say..she said that..even if i prove her wrong..things even would not change...if loving a person is stupid..i rather become stupid..Later on..i saw her message..saying hoiyo!! what u doing???..after i see the message i think again..want to reply her anot??..well...nah...in her blog she did mention that i wont message her because she hurted me very hurt..honestly..really very hurt..somemore..i don know why..that day..everywhere i go also will think about her..so i did something stupid go and watch davinci code...in the movie they got crack a code..the code is A-P-P-L-E..my heart felt the wound once again..i really want to be with her but i dont wish to pleed and beg for her love..she said..there is neber will be a chance for us to become more then friends...different world.....well...as for now..if ur heart really still thinks that i am that kind of person..den dun change it..hate me!! hate me!!! hate me!!!!...aihs...my feelings realli felt like i get throwed alot d..sometimes hope sometimes not..although some hope like i miss you is like not too much but i already mean the world to me....at near midnight..i was hearing my old songs..suddently the song "If I let You Go"..really sadif u realli know the lyric..it's sounded like..night after night..i hear myself say..why cant this feeling just fade away..because there is no one like you to speak to my heart..aiks..sad sad...in the testimonial..u said i was faithful...then how would u not believe me...sad...sad...everything i ever wrote about u is deep down from my heart unless those whihc i told u was just joking..everyone is sleeping here...felt to write more...hahah..the songs we sang together...aihs..memories...still remember..u promised me to go out with me during the holidays..u always say change topic..i also don know why so fast wan to say change..maybe u just dont wan to go out with me???..now holidays already..i guess our outing sure cancel d...another sad news.....=/....not replying ur message realli hurts my heart..very very very hurt..why our relationship cant be brough to another stage??..why now i look like person who beg for love??..why !!!! why!!!i also dont know what to say to this blog already...just very sad about things happening now..really not nice...really hurt..my mind cant stop thinking of you..this is real..!!everything is real..!!!my feelings to you are real..my love to you are real..my sacrifice to you are also real..but i always dont get the answer i wanted...so sad...=/...well..getting early..owh and these days..i have bad time sleeping..cant stop thinking the both of us..really dont want to let you go...but..if u insist..i nid to..=/......

-LonelyStaR-

My Confession Part 1-I Love You

-Was Written In Papers This Very Morning-

Life is just so lonely without you around...i felt the emptyness inside...i know there are only two ways to end this...it's either to forget you(where i wont) or you and me to be together..Well I guess for everyone,i'm selfish..how could i give this things for her to decide....every single moment we spend together...i hope it will never end...and everytime we chat, it hurts that i can no longer refer to chatting with my beloved gf...because as for now..your heart isnt with me..i...i...i...really want us to be together...really i do....but..i'm scared...i am scared that i cant furfill your mr right's characteristic..i dont have much of em..honestly...the characteristic did killed some of my faith..but well they grew back..my heart keeps on remembering every second...every moment...your face...your smile...your voice..the person,that's you..everything that i love..You are the one that i want to be apart of..i want to be apart of your life..Every night before i fell asleep..as i was waiting for ur sMs...i would always take a peep on yourphoto and would just softly rub my hand againts the screen as though i was touching your face..Weird Huh..i'm not insane...just crazy in love..i still remember that day i was sick...i was suffering back then..in school i wanted to send you a message..but i remembered that u have an exam going on...maybe i should not disturb her..so i didn't..at that very night..my fever has gotten worse..but you showed up...i purposely repeat myself on how suffering i was,in hope that u would show some concern to towards me..and show me that you care...at last you did...you said..the word..you wished you was there for me..by just receiving those words from you..my heart feels warm and felt how it is to be loved and cared..now how about letting me recall those sad happenings...the day you said we need to talk...2nd May 2006..Remember?...That day was the day you told me that your feelings towards him are still there in your heart...you said you dont want to hurt me no more..but to tell you the truthyou did and it's a hurtfull one indeed..i really confess that since that day i felt this lonelyness inside...that i have never felt like this before..maybe before you think i was playing with your feelings but..i could surely answer you..i did not..i really love you..not because of your looks not because of anything else..it's because of the person you are..the angel that i knew..and i know..sometimes..i might get abit boring..my head becomes numb and i dont even know what to say...then you told me..i still have hope..if i can just prove to you..there is connection between you and me..i'll get a chance to be with you..you said 2 years..i asked myself..if i realli love this girll..why dont i just wait??..it's only 2 years..it's worth it..by saying all these does not meant like i want to beg love from anyone..i just want you all to know how i feel...and all these is because I Love You....